"For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain"
Oh what sorrow fills my soul that the one thing it yearns for cannot be? To meet with and dwell with Thee forevermore, no longer suffering thy absence through ontological disunion. To be unified, brought together, lost in the infinite sea of your Glory! To live is Christ, to die is gain. I live for your service, I am your hands, your mouth, part of your body working for your will here on earth, yet even in this working I am heart broken, shattered by hopeless longing for you. To die would be gain, but alas death does not come unless you will it, and so I suffer longingly for thy face, and know that only by your desire and will shall my desire be fulfilled. Teasing God! who toys with my soul into terrible ecstasy yet bitter pain! Fulfill what you inspire! Lord how I long, I I yearn. As a deer pants for water in a dry weary land, so my soul pants for you. Lord hear my cry! Fill me! save me from this bitter torment!